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Writer's pictureAndrew J Calvert

A cloudy day is no match for a sunny disposition

Nine suggestions on how to share a positive and realistic vibe in your office, family and community. We can't control much of what happens around us, but by "being the change" we can create ripples around us that spread beyond where we can see.


1. Be aware of your body language

Non verbal communication happens both at the conscious and unconscious level so how you look as you stand (or sit), and how you stand (or sit) sends a strong message about you. Maintaining an open posture signals to those around you that you are approachable . Try these tips for a more welcoming stance:

  • When speaking to someone, try not to cross your arms or legs

  • Look face on towards the person speaking to you

  • Stand up straight - no slouching

  • Remember to smile

2. Use mindfulness to focus your energy

Taking time to sweep the mind of unproductive thoughts and feelings can be challenging but with a few minute of breathing, or movement practice you can calm the chatter and bring a better feeling to how you are showing up



3. Watch out for negative self talk

I've often said that if someone we knew spoke to us the way we speak to ourselves, we'd drop that person like a hot stone! So let's talk to ourselves more gently. Remember your wins - you've likely had many (and if you reacted to that by saying no I haven't then you just proved my point) celebrate those wins. And if you've had some losses - well they are the other side of winning - they're proof that you're in the game and making the effort. Should you catch yourself in negative self talk remind your self that you can't always be positive and respect your thoughts while you're feeling down. This too shall pass


4. Try using Affirmations

Starting your day with affirmations may seem a little So-Cal chic, but there’s a reason they’ve been around for centuries. Affirmations are positive self-talk and the aim is to repeat positive and self-affirming phrases to yourself daily. Try writing your own or use one of these:

  • I am in the right place at the right time, doing the right thing

  • The chance to love and be loved exists no matter I am

  • My perspective is unique. It’s important and it counts

  • Good riddance to decisions that don't support self-care, self-value, and self-worth

  • I am growing and I am going at my own pace

Repeat it to yourself each morning upon waking and throughout the day as needed


5. Be the kind of person that notices good things and comments on them

When you see something done well, say so, when someone looks good, tell them, when something is better than expected celebrate it. I've run training programs on recognition for years and I always start with the question "who here gets too much recognition?" No -one ever raises their hand... Be the person who gives recognition - and watch it change the world around you.


6. Self Care

We are amazing beings and the way to realize that is to care for yourself. Charge your batteries regularly - now what charges me might not charge you so take some time - invest in yourself - to find out what recharging is for you. Reading? Walking in nature? listening to music, playing sports, working out? what leaves you feeling energized?


7. Stay aware of the big picture

What is your long term goal? By aligning what you are doing today with your long term goal you increase your energy and reduce negative self talk, "why am I dong this?" is replaced with ""this is getting me closer to..." and that awareness comes across in your interactions with those around you.


8. Assume positive intent

It’s easy to feel cynical about the world and the people in it, but if you focus on the good in people what you attract and how you are perceived noticeably shifts. When speaking with someone, focus on something that makes them special. If someone says something that irks you - pause and ask if there was a different intention they had that just landed wrong with you

9. Gratitude

It lifts your mood, helps shift your focus, impacts your self talk. Whether it is the gratitude jar, a section in your journal or writing thank you notes to your nearest an dearest practice it and watch your vibe change


Should this be a list of 10 items? What would you add?

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